Free Time

Right now I have about five hours a week of free time to myself. It sounds like a lot, but it isn't really. It's the equivalent of the lunch breaks that a regular working person takes during their week. But the problem is that I don't usually spend it relaxing and taking a rest from my job.

Partially it is guilt. Although I don't know why I should feel guilty about taking a break. I used to work at a high-paced, high-stress software company (that shall remain nameless) and I can tell you that even the most high pressure job in Silicon Valley doesn't hold a candle to motherhood. I deserve a break, I really do.

Partially it is that sometimes it is a pain in the ass to take my kids on errands. Unless I can get the parking spot right out in front of the dry cleaner's, I have to take both kids out, carry Mia and drag Miles by the hand and somehow schlep Mike's mountain of dirty clothes in through the door. Even going to the grocery store can be a pain when your two year old insists on unloading the cart and paying.

I spent most of my time in high school obsessing about my weight and I don't want to go there again. However, I do have a milestone birthday coming up next year and I was thinking that it might be good be fit when I greet my new decade. Somehow I'm going have to find a way to work in working out.

Today I decided to free up my free time. Instead of going to the grocery store, I went for a run. I paid in the afternoon when I had to take both kids shopping so we'd have something for dinner. We almost got thrown out whenMiles opened the change machine and started pulling out quarters. But maybe, just maybe, I was a little more relaxed. And someday I might be a little more fit too.