Sweet Potatoes

This post isn't about the food sweet potatoes, although I'm proud to report that my kids are faithful to their southern heritage and love their sweet potatoes and fried chicken. It is about being a good mom.

Most of the time I think I am, and then I have moments when I slip much too easily into mommy rage. You know those days, when you didn't get quite enough sleep the night before, when your three year old keeps doing something even after you've told him, say, fifty times to stop. When you allow it to bother you that he never, ever listens to you. And you just want to shake him and scream "goddamit, you listen to me!"

Last Wednesday was "picture day" at our preschool. And wouldn't you know it, but EVERY single kid in our class went happily into the room that was set up as the "studio," posed nicely in front of the backdrop and smiled incredibly sweetly for the photographer. Every single kid. Except mine.

He liked to watch the other kids, but when it was his turn he absolutely refused to sit down on the bench that the photographer had set up. To be fair to Miles, the photographer wasn't too good with young ones- he basically said "Next!" instead of trying to be friendly and coaxing. And of course being the wonderful mother I am, I did everything I could to make Miles feel comfortable and relaxed. If you count grabbing his arm tightly, dragging him across the room and hissing in his ear, "You better sit still for this picture or you'll never have dessert again."

I'm not sure how much the other mothers at the co-op heard but I'm sure they are all busily trying to transfer their kids out of Mondays (when I teach). Of course Miles ended up crying but luckily the Assistant Director stepped in and coerced him into it.

It is times like these when I feel really, really badly about myself and my parenting skills.

If I think about all of the families that I've known and admired, the one that springs to mind is my old boyfriend Michael's Marin county family. It was pretty non-traditional: he has a full sister and then on one side a step sister, half brother and half sister, and on the other side a half brother and two step brothers. Not to mention a number of aunts, uncles and cousins. There would be big holiday dinnerwith eighteen people around a big table, all eating and talking. One of the things that was most amazing about this family was that anything that anyone had to say was important. I remember watching my boyfriend's mother talk to a preschooler and nodding and really listening to his thoughts and opinions.

Once I visited my family in Mississippi and returned with a genuine sweet potatoe pie baked by a family friend. I brought it over to Michael's parents' house and they cut it into tiny slices and shared it out around the table. Michael's stepfather chewed it slowly and deliberately, asking about the recipe, treasuring it on his palate, as if he was sampling a Silver Oak Cabernet.

So this is one thing that I know I can do. I may not always be the most patient person around. But I can promise this to my kids. When they bring me their thoughts and ideas and sweet potatoes, I can listen.

You Know You're Behind on Shopping When...

The only toothpaste in the house is your 18 month old daughter's "toddler training" toothpaste. Unfortunately I had a tuna sandwich for lunch, so I had no other choice. It wasn't bad, really, just a bit fruity for my taste.

I realize I haven't blogged in a long, long time. Things have been crazy here. I feel like I ran a marathon just to get through Halloween.

But there's lots to tell and I'll be back next week.

Now, off to the pediatrician. For the second time today.....