Old Dog, New Tricks

I’m not much of an athlete. I have friends – other parents – who play on soccer teams, or run in marathons, or go rock climbing. Some who’ve taken up tennis, or golf, or snowboarding. I’ve never been the kind of person who could pick up a new sport and be good at it, so with two kids and a part time job, I stick to the activities I know, ones that are so routine that they can be enjoyed with minimal prep time and no learning curve. I follow the same fall line down the same ski runs over and over; I’ve done the same yoga routine for eight years. Not much of a challenge, but not much an achievement either. Perhaps this explains the bizarrely enormous sense of accomplishment that I had last month when I learned to surf.

We were vacationing at Hanalei Bay and put our kid (ages 5 and 6) into a surfing lesson. They’ve had years of swimming instruction, and are accomplished on skis and scooters. We weren’t surprised that they were instantly good at it. It was amazing to see how quickly they were able to stand, with knees bent and arms held wide, and ride waves right onto the sand. Their father and I clapped each other on the back, congratulated ourselves on how wonderful our children are, and what good parents we must be, and ran around like lunatics as we tried to capture the perfect shot with the video camera.

I’m used to getting most of my validation through my children. No one ever says, “hey, you’re a great car-pooler” or “you do a hellava job making sure your family never runs out of toothpaste.” Unfortunately, these days I get my sense of accomplishment through my children’s achievements. Mia counted by tens to a thousand! Miles read a book!

In Kauai the kids floated over the waves again and again to shore, laughing manically, thirst and hunger forgotten, experiencing a joy more intense than with almost anything else they’ve ever done. They surfed in side by side on parallel boards, they rode in tandem on a long board, even on the shoulders of the instructor.

As I stood in the warm Hawaiian water, watching them, I had a crazy, insane, wild idea. It occurred to me that I could try it too. Yes, I, too, could have fun. When they finally needed a break for Gatorade and pretzels, I took a turn.

I got on the board, wobbled like mad, and slid off into sea. I got on again, wobbled again, and the water hit my face like a slap. My children laughed, and I’m sure many of the locals fishing on the pier. After many more slides, and mouthfuls of salt water, I finally got onto my knees. From there it was only a few more tries before I was able to stand – stand! – on the longboard. And then I was floating in the water with the instructor, who shouted “now” and gave me a push each time a good wave came in. And I stood on the water, balanced like a warrior two, and floated into shore.

I was jubilant.

That night, over dinner, the kids and I eagerly talked about getting our own surfboards, already planning the next time we could come to Hanalei Bay.

I was so proud. The feeling was all out of proportion to the two hundred yards that I actually surfed. But who cares?

As a parent I have very little time for myself. I try to squeeze in a yoga class each week – two if I’m lucky! – and have the occasional night out alone with my husband. Even when my children are asleep, it seems that most of my activities are centered around them – cleaning up the dinner dishes, packing lunches, folding laundry. Maybe it is finally time to make time for myself. Maybe it is time to take up some new sports. Maybe it is time to finally start my novel. The kids can make their own lunches. This old dog is going to learn some new tricks.

Mother's Day..Prison...

For Mother's Day we went to Alcatraz. We usually like to do a big outing (last year we went biking at Tennessee Valley, the year before to Angel Island) but since the kids are both barely off of training wheels we're constrained as to how far we can ride. So we decided to take a ferry instead.

When the kids get mad at each other, they usually say something along the lines of, "You're stupid. You're going to jail." So we decided to go to a real jail. There's probably also a parallel between prison and parenthood, but I'm not going to go there...

Anyway, I'm happy to report that although several threats were made, no one was left behind!

I Need a Vacation!

Having one of those days when I'm feeling sad about not ever travelling. Not so much that I want to get away from my children (although I wouldn't mind!), but just feeling a little bored of not experiencing anything "new". I think it was set off by two things -- reading a really good book that takes place in England, and hearing about my boss' planned vacation to England. She said the fares are cheap now!
So I think it is time to check my frequent flier account and start planning my promised 40th birthday trip!

More on Tempers

Why is it that when I lose my temper, I always find it again? Not so with socks, sunglasses, and Miles' sweaters.

Doing it All

I recently reconnected (thank you, Facebook!) to a good friend from high school. It is always a little weird to write about someone who might possibly read this, so hopefully I won't offend her. But, anyway, through our correspondence I found out that 1) she is pregnant with child #5 and 2) she has written a book. Either one is an amazing accomplishment. But both?? I've been scratching my head ever since. Does she have a nanny? Does she never sleep? Is her husband incredibly helpful? Is she super-human? Even with all of the above, I don't think I could do it. So my hat is off...

Zero to Sixty in Three Seconds

Nothing in the world can make me as mad - as quickly - as my son. One minute I am standing there, a calm, poised, peaceful parent. And the next I am in a white storm of rage. Usually it happens when we are in a hurry to get out the door. I've rushed him through brushing his teeth, and we're in route to get shoes on, and then he casually stops and starts taking legos out of the drawer. As if he has nothing better in the world to do. As if I haven't said a hundred times in the past three minutes "it's time to go to school." And when I try to move him past the legos, he says, "I just have to do this one thing." Which, if I let him do it, takes about ten minutes. And then we're late for school. Even though we live on the next block. At this point, my head is about to explode.
I've been wondering why it is that Miles can make me so angry, so quickly, when no one else in the world does. It isn't as if his sister is jumping to attention to get her shoes on either. I've concluded that I just have built up a lot of frustration during the six and a half years that he has been ignoring everything I tell him to do.
All I can do at this point is take a deep breath, and try to get myself back down to 20 MPH.

Looking a Gift Horse in the Mouth

Warning: Whiny, ungrateful, petulant, selfish thoughts ahead....

It is the end of January and I'm still frustrated about Christmas! I just finished returning the duplicate gifts. I had to drive 1/2 hour to the store to return them, and then 1/2 hour back.

Other gifts came in huge boxes of styrfoam peanuts. Not only bad for the environment, but VERY messy in my house.

But with all these gifts, what my kids really want are Tae Kwon Do lessons. Which cost a whopping $4,000 annually.

And our public school is facing huge budgets cuts, which will not likely be made up for by our largely low income family base.

Here's my wish for the next holidays. I wish instead of toys (which we are already drowning in) that they would give my kids cash. Or even better, give it to the PTA.

But whatever happens, I hope people will keep the peanuts to themselves.

Teach Your Children Well

Yesterday the director of Mia's preschool - who I love and admire - said to me, apropos of nothing, "Have you ever thought of being a preschool teacher? I think you'd be good at it."

First I was shocked. Then I was saddened. She must not know me very well!

Typing Test

I just did the test at typingtest.com. I can type 81 words per minute, with 98% accuracy. Too bad all the other things I learned in life didn't stick with me so well.